mitten:

calling me ugly isn’t even an insult because i know already

(Source: nowyuokno, via cumfort)

217,810 notes
  • my family: skinny people are gross.
  • my family: fat people are gross
  • my family: self harm-ers are gross
  • my family: suicide is gross
  • my family: mental illnesses are gross
  • my family: homosexuals are gross
  • my family: oh, but we won't judge you. you can tell us anything.
  • me: lol no i'm fine thanks.
94,679 notes

terufrying:

"gays will push their sexuality onto their children"

funny because that’s exactly what every straight person does.

(Source: terufrying, via camrenislove)

98,513 notes

sadeon:

if your girlfriend is cold, be a gentleman. put her in the oven for 40 minutes on 350. check often and serve plain or with white gravy

(Source: portablemiah, via heliolisk)

138,927 notes

narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

(via foreveralone-lyguy)

119,587 notes